Phenomenal hair and common methodologies of monster vanquishing.*

(*This blog entry could not have been made without having blatantly taken the juicy clip and poster from the ‘The Daily What’ which can be found over here: http://thedw.us/)

Pop culture has always been about big hair. And hair doesn’t get any bigger than in this next clip.

The guy has cool hair, really cool hair. I like it how it blows so freely in the wind.

And of course it’s a magic clip and song. Close to perfect.

Do yourself a favour and watch it in fullscreen hd with headphones on.

(NB: no embed, so click please the link, then you come back read many happy’s on the most common methodologies of monster vanquishing.)

WeWereMonkeys: Land of Talk – It’s Okay from WeWereMonkeys on Vimeo.

BBC to air views of BNP

There are alot of people angry that that icon of what is right in the world, the BBC, is going to let the dirty stinking racists of the BNP party on their screens.

I am not.

Racist groups often hide behind the fact they are supressed by the mainstream media.

You can’t hide on the BBC.

Their leader Nick Griffen will have to answer questions that will make him uncomfortable.

He will have to admit to things that will lose him casual supporters.

His group will be distinguished from people who are frustrated with the current political climate, and instead he will be exposed as a racist.

The best way to let racists expose themselves as idiots is to let them speak.

Don’t let them say the Jews are trying to stop us talking, let the cunt speak, he will fuck up, like most racists do.

The more air time radical racists get, the more times people get to hear them sound like dicks.

Free speech works because you get to hear all the people speak, and then work out who the idiots are on your own.

People deserve to know that the BNP are just as full of shit as any political party, that their policies actually make no fucken sense and completely that just like most racist groups they try and hide their real selves with well dressed Mouth pieces who say racist things in PC ways while claiming they hate poliocal correctness.

It’s time for a bit of Clitter!

After Jrod’s rant at the reprehensible Hey Hey It’s Saturday (yes, thankyou Daryl Somers for reverting Australia 20 years in the eyes of the world. People were finally beginning to accept that we don’t actually go jumping around on kangaroos and you pull this stunt….You say Americans find this offensive? The world finds this offensive, you are offensive, go join Kyle Sandilands in some dim, dark corner where none of the rest of the world ever has to hear from you again….oh hang on….back to the blog…..) I thought it was time to share a little joy with you Born Again brethren. It is time for shimmery, glimmery thoughts full of Clitter!

With that in mind, I bring you the following video, for those times in your life when you’ve experienced smelly muff or the discomfort of knowing something just wasn’t right down there.

This one is for the ladies, and for those blokes that love to love them. And for the ladies that love the ladies. And for the blokes who love the blokes but still can admire the ladies. And so on. It’s Clitter time, yes Clitter time…..

Hey Hey it’s cunt O’clock

Hey Hey it’s Saturday was never a show that I liked.

When I was a kid I realised there was something wrong with it, but it wasn’t till I got older that I realised the main problem with it was that too many of the guys on the show were cunts.

Proper cunts.

And you can be a cunt, and make other people laugh, many people around the world have had this career, but these cunts were harsh and on in a family slot.

John Blackman’s comedy was sexist, racist, cruel and predictable.

Molly Meldrum gay jokes were flying around the show every time he was on air, and also sometimes when he wasn’t.

Kamahl was on the show and he was often on the receiving end of Asian or dark skin jokes.

And the few women were lucky enough to be on the show were treated like silly bimbos.

The fact the show was sold as family entertainment was my problem.

You want to make a show blokey and cunty, go ahead, the footy show has been doing it for years, but the footy show is on at 9:30 and is not aimed at families.

Even the pluckaduck name is not exactly family friendly, although my nan loved calling him fuckaduck.

Hey hey was cruel, there was not an episode where someone was not put down savagely.

Good old fashioned family fun, lets bag the poof, the curry muncher and the stupid woman.

So then the show comes back, and Daryl Somers tries to say that his was a harmless family entertainment show and Andrew Denton and the Panel started making cynicism popular and bumped their show out.

No the show was a fucken relic, that is why it finished. In the 70s and 80s you could get away with having an all white middle aged male cast bagging people, by the 90s it looked a bit fucken dodgy, so you were assholed.

Now you come back, and in the second episode you have a black face sketch.

It is funny that it took a black face sketch for Hey Hey to show its true colours.

I wish for once and all the cunts at Hey Hey would fuck right off, it was ten years ago when Reef turned up and played Yer Old after looking around at the cast and crew, now they are older, and obviously no fucken wiser.

iSnack 2.0

I am not going to join the kicking when it comes to the new name for Vegemite’s iSnack 2.0.

I don’t have to.

Everyone who has heard the name has questioned the companies thinking.

I won’t do that.

What I will say is this, how much do people have to have your new snack name for them to start up a blog bagging it.

That is a special product name.

It also made a splash on twitter with the tag #vegefail making it into the top 10 trending topics.

Some think this is a conspiracy to get kraft more publicity.

If it is they are fucking evil geniuses.

Sarah Palin’s favourite movie

I am only assuming it is.

Let’s get that Turkey.

Tits Busty.

We’re proud to admit that our number one search term here at Blank Suburbs over the last week or so, is of course Tits Busty. For those of you that don’t know, Tits Busty was a 1920’s comedian famous for his brassiere routine or something like that.

The strange part is that to my knowledge we’ve made very few references to either tits or busty.

This is coming off the back of late August where the top search term to find this blog was ’softy orgasmus’. Now again, we’re happy to take the credit for such great terminology, but I’m not sure how much we had to do with it.

I’m beginning to wonder if Google and/or WordPress have simply thrown up their hands and gone, ‘well, these guys are goddamn freaks, let’s direct all the pervert traffic to them’.

Well perverts, thanks for visiting and I hope you have a softy orgasmus over tits busty. I prefer something a little harder myself.

Now, if you’re a true pervert, you’ve probably already been stalking me on facebook and you’ve seen the clip below as I already posted it on my FB newsfeed.

However, if like most of us you’re after something more than a softy orgasmus, I strongly recommend you view the video below.

Not only does it redefine the frisbee, it has a fine mutual arse respecting moment. It’s everything I wished the A-Team would be. Speaking of which…..

Vote 1 Mr T - I pity the fool.

Ah pilgrims of Blank Suburbs, the time to watch is now…….

Censorship: a non satisfying form of masturbation

The Australian government is trying to stop Internet filth.

Talk about David taking on Jemma fucken Jamieson.

You can’t stop filth.

It is in all of us. Probably on some of us right now.

Stopping child porn is all well and good, but stopping a few sites won’t slow down the kiddie fuckers. Say what you want about paedophiles (and you can, no censorship there) they are a resilient bunch, an Internet ban won’t stop them.

They will get their illegal rocks off with or without firefox.

You can’t really filter the internet of course.

If you own a site that puts up footage of a man eating a hot dog out of a doberman’s ass and you get blacklisted in Australia, you can just move your server to more liberal countries, like America.

It is always sex that gets censored.

Some Christian politician that gets frozen bananas stuck up his ass by his tax payer funded assistant gets on his metaphorical high horse and tries to ban all sex.

Cause kids can read about War, no one is trying to ban the sites that talk about how an IED rapes the human body, or the sound bullets make as they penetrate the flesh.

That is ok.

But two consensual adults committing the harmless act of snowballing and it is call the police time.

I have never really understood that.

If something is illegal, fucking a dog, kid, or letterbox, then the person who puts that up should be penalised, but everything else should be fair game.

Then again I have never been one for censorship, i say let the person do what ever they want, and if it is shit people will laugh at them anyway.

As for kids surfing the net, well if your kids are surfing alone and then want to find porn, they will, first thing i ever found when we had the internet was a chick bowling a german shepherd.

And as you can see, it hasn’t effected me.

Cocks in print

The sun is a terribly liberal newspaper of England.

It is the number one selling paper here, I think. Well it sells a shitload anyway.

For alot of people it is most famous for its page three tits.

Some Busty skanky “glamour” model they have convinced to go topless for the sake of news.

It must be a popular newspaper for acne riddled young males with uncontrollable erections. In the guardian you have to really search for tits, and they are usually arty shots.

I have no problem with tits in a newspaper, but what about some naked time for cocks.

There would probably be some rule against showing throbbing turgid members, but surely some flaccid cocks on page four could work.

You can still have the witty little line next to the picture, “global warming really pisses me off, I think about it every day I am working out naked”.

Tits on three, flaccid on four.

What a newspaper it would be then.

Madmen Make Pop Culture.

Started watching Madmen this week. For those that haven’t heard – it’s a show set in a 60’s advertising agency.

The world of Madmen is raw and wild. Men driving to get everything. Women playing to draw them in.

Through all the ages the game is still the same: an awkward interplay between men and women.

The primal urges of men and women are a constrained façade.

Calculated self-interest leads the characters to be stripped bare.

Sure there’s moments of humanity but only when it serves someone’s purpose.

The line ‘you live alone and you die alone’ has already surfaced on the show.

When you ‘construct’ a society and bind it in rules to safeguard against an imagined threat primal urges fight and twist motives.

We are all caged animals struggling to be free.

By sharing this world we are all bound to each other.

We search for common ground, we strip away differences, we add some bubblegum.

And then we end up with Pop Culture.

Plain and simple.

You get that first sugary rush but it fades quickly.

It’s insubstantial. It is fleeting. And so you need more and more and more.

You are consumed. You are the consumer.

Welcome Pop Culture you have us all by the hand that feeds us.

We all want to be Pop Princes and Pop Princesses.

They ate, they drank, they fucked.

We got to watch;

And who lived happily ever after?

Those that treated Pop Culture as a supplement,

Not as the main, nutritious meal.

Plastic pop is merely fairy floss to free thinking.

Insubstantial, yet nostalgic;

A childhood innocence that has been subverted for gain.

Pop plays on minds like a Casanova worshipping the altar.

When you have spent your last dollar and lust on pop,

Leave the commercial shop

And be free.

Reality is the beauty of human flaws.